we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
