Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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