Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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