your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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