Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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