We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize