i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Randomize
