My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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