i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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