sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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