that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
My vagina is officially offended.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
