My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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