could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
