TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
