Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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