Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
