Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
