Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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