can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I love you. Go after that dick
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
