sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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