The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
