so explain again why im purple
no
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
