Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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