At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
