he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
