I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
