Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
