I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
