I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
