ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
