my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
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