i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
