Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
