Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
