How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
