So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize