The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
