I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
