i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
