Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
