I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
