how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Randomize
