i already hear my dad disowning me
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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