yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
