You're so nebulous sometimes
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
