I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
