I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
You took a bar mat shot.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
