Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
