What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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