if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
