And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
