I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
