Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
