I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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