actually, I'm a sock model
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
