You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
