sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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