Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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