so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I smell stomach acid.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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