And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
