I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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