I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
