Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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