you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
