It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
