I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
