Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
