Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
jump out the window naked night went bad
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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