Cold hands, warm shart.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
