i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I just want nice things and good sex
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
